This One’s To The Silly ‘Brand People’….Buy Sense (If Only They Sold That)

A good day to all following this blog and a hoorah for me finally getting off my lazy bum to type it!….

Ok so I usually have no qualms about how people decide to gear up…well actually I do, else I wouldn’t be writing this now would I?  (^.^) Aaaaah brand people!! If there ever was a group of people who’d make me beat them each time I saw them it would have to be these guys and gals!! Everywhere they go; Restaurant, cafe, toilet…going number 2 in the morning (probably wipe their bums with some overly expensive branded toilet roll I bet!)

You ever seen those people (idiots) who decide that irrespective of location, time or occasion must be covered entirely in designer brands? For some reason they seem to no only attach it to their self-worth but they also seem to think that if they weren’t they would suddenly die of…of…I’m not sure what they’d die of but they would trust me. They need their brands like they need air or something. It’s a sad, sad designer-clad idiot world we live in :(…on to the main rant.

First, let’s define these brand people.

” A brand person is any individual stupid enough to assume that their social standing will improve by spending excessive amounts of money on mere cloth, accessory or shoe that adds no value to oneself ” -myhonesopinions, 2012.

The phenomenon is justified by the other idiots who appreciate the belt, not the way it looks on you, the male and female gold diggers who want to ruin you financially and let’s not forget the thieves who target you for your real or perceived wealth.

I mean what on earth were they thinking?…fortunately I interviewed some people and here’s exactly what they thought hehe..(ironic huh? because they don’t!)

Brand person #1 – ” I bought them, because I wanted them”

Brand person #2 – ” yes, because I like [the design and the brand itself] ” (at least you’re honest)

Brand person #3 – ” Because it looks good on me” ← (WOW!)

and the worst,

Brand person #4 – ”It suits my personality -calm, reserved, classy etc. (Louis Vuitton and Chanel classy huh? The research I did can assure you if you were classy you wouldn’t be at the bottom of the expensive brand people chain’)

And the list goes on! Anyway, now we’re getting an idea of how they…errrm…use their brains! ← (Hilarious!). Now the Brand Person goes on to not only purchase these overly expensive bits of  clothing, but certain digital accessories must accompany these Brands and what more than the oh so popular-for-odd-reasons iPad?! *hoooray!!*. It’s sad but when you ask them about a good tablet PC they will always, ALWAYS say Apple. However, when you ask them ‘why?’ (gets real funny here)

Apple Douche #1 – ”It’s the best in the market because everyone’s buying them”

Apple Douche #2 – ”It has amazing resolution” (how’s that make it the best?!)

Apple Douche #3 – ”It’s awesome! I can take notes, and it really helps me study!! ”

Honestly Apple Douche #3 just shocked me!! The fact that you ‘need’ to spend a minimum of £399 to study in uni is sad!! Terribly sad! Honestly if you don’t get at least 97.8% it was a very poor investment!!! Oh and for a wonderful example of how ‘Apple Fan Boys’ think please click here . If you want a good tablet PC please look at the Asus Transformer Prime (awesome name!). The new trend I’ve noticed they now buy expensive DSLR cameras. Taking photos is nice and all but here’s the catch, they have no actual talent or eye for the art of photography. Again, it makes them feel good about themselves.

The funniest part is that they assume they’re thinking for themselves, that they have their reasons, all personal and well thought out to buy these things but !seriously!. The reality is that you don’t, because if you did, you wouldn’t. Plain and simple, plain and blimey simple!

Apple products, ‘It doesn’t get viruses’ you’d say. News flash; who gets viruses these days? Unless you’re on some amazingly funny website and the Gucci and LV and Hermes and Dolce & Gabbana and so on…seriously, it’s a BELT! A BELT!!! Only idiots like yourself would attach any real worth to it. I mean honestly, do me and you a favour and think! £250+ on one item on no actual value but boosting your poor ego? Come on!

So how do you buy sense? Well first of your Papa und Mama are already doing that for mist of you, you’ve been in one school or another and the fact that you still don’t have any is sad, mayhap a better investment would be plastic surgery and diet pills?

Next (not the store), how about not, being a sheep? I’m not saying you’ll be a leader someday of something more important than a small society of people with low self-esteem, like yourself,  who are as intelligent as you are. No, no you may not rise further but maybe at least you would THINK for yourself. You know finally give you brain a bit more attention

Finally, if you, a brand person, has read all the way down here all I can say is I am all  at once, happy for your attention span, assuming you didn’t think this shed good light on brands and also pleased that you have now , hopefully gained an iota of sense and let’s face it, my man Einstein (know who that is?) would say, ”relatively that’s a lot!”

P.S – If you’re offended by this, I really don’t care oh and you might just be a brand person :p





Filed under Rantin' Horses

2 responses to “This One’s To The Silly ‘Brand People’….Buy Sense (If Only They Sold That)

  1. Obiora

    Well written I must say. Makes you think of these ‘brand people’ who litter your field of vision with expensive material waste.

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