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Haters Gotta Hate….Right?

Countless times and a bit more, I’ve heard people say ‘I’ve got too many haters. I must be doing something right’ or ‘My haters just don’t want to see me progress.’ Now, a hater according to urban dictionary is ”an overly used word to  describe someone who cannot be happy for another person’s success or just so happens to dislike another person.” I understand that there are people out there who think this way, with good reason, they’re insecure. However, you have to be successful at something first. You can’t be failing and because someone calls you on it they automatically become haters. Personally, I’m sick of it. I really am.

 

Case 1

Jane: I’m not sure what you’re saying here…?

Friend: Errmmm Jane, try not to take this the wrong way, you’re really out of shape, you’re fat.

Jane: I can’t believe you’d say that! I thought we were friends! You’re such a hater.

Friend: But the dress doesn’t fit you. You’re obviously too big and tight clothes make that fact painfully obvious!

Jane: beep you! You beep-ing bastard! Ugh! Haters like you just don’t appreciate curves when you see them!

Friend: Yeah? Which one? All NINE of them?! <—- too far!

The Truth: Now, Friend-turned-hater was only trying to be helpful and just wanted to be honest to Jane. Friend-turned-hater doesn’t mean to hurt her although that last comment was hurtful. Jane assumes that Friend-turned-hater is a hater because a compliment wasn’t given. This is wrong.Just because the truth hurts doesn’t mean that it isn’t right, heck Jane probably KNOWS she’s fat big boned and does not want to hear of it but would rather live in a world where everyone constantly reassures her she’s ‘OK’ while they’re in a much healthier figure/shape than she is. Who’s the hater really? The well-meaning truth sayer or the enabler(s)?

 

Case 2

Couple: We’re in lovedy-love! We love each other!

Friend: No you’re not. You don’t trust each other. He cheats on you. She cheats on you. You’re in such a parasitic relationship it’s symbiotic and you’ve been repeating this destructive cycle for far too long.

Couple: How can you say that?! Dude(ette) I thought we were friends! You’re supposed to support us in our lovedy-love and endless cycle of hurting ourselves.

Friend: No I’m not. I am meant to support you in making the right decisions and save you from your stupidity where and when I can.

The Truth: Friend has now become the ‘enemy’ and sadly the lovedy-love couple have made him into a hater. All Friend-turned-hater wanted to do was help. Because they thought they HAD to have haters to validate their destructive relationship, they made Friend into a hater. So sad. *sniff* *sniff*

 

The Real Haters:

These guys can’t actually be happy for you when you have achieved any form of success, they’re critical and will always put you down. ALWAYS. In the same breath they will praise your achievement and let you know that it still isn’t up to scratch. However do not confuse these people with pessimists or  constructively critical individuals, the former can’t help themselves as that’s how they view life and the latter are definitely worth listening to!

 

Case in point

El Taco: YES!! I WOOON!

Friend: Congrats dude! Great effort, damn…but you still didn’t do better than Bur King!

El Taco: How’s that important at the moment? Be happy for me right now I won! Wooh!

Friend: Just saying, you may be champ here but you suck compared to the others like Bur King.

The Truth: Fact is, this douche bag, friend-hidden-in-the-hater-shadow is by all means a hater. I mean, El Taco must’ve trained for this right but notice, friend-hidden-in-the-hater-shadow just can’t be happy for him. That’s a hater, a pessimist wouldn’t care the constructive critic would be happy for you but remind you (and often help too) that there are stronger opponents out there to surpass.

 

A bit over the top in my descriptions, I know but it makes the point. People always seem to have haters. Most of the time, it’s because someone disagrees with their ideas or opinions because the other individual has their own opinion. However due to the endless number of barely savant individuals, hipsters and crazy iPhone lovers ( I HAD TO!) people suddenly NEED to have enemies. They somehow believe that if they do they are doing something right. To quote” If you don’t have a few enemies, you’re doing something wrong.” RUBBISH! I mean who came up with that piece of crap?? You can have people who don’t agree with you but that…does not..make them…your enemies! Stop looking for them!

Whatever I guess, haters gonna hate right?

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Bullying Never Stops, Even at the University Level.

I cited this blogger (Ojie KING) in what turned out to be a popular post, a few weeks back (shared by someone(people) on facebook. I am grateful.  I got in touch with Ojie KING and asked if he had anything he honestly wanted to say and well he did and asked me to host this for him.

Now this doesn’t necessarily reflect all of my views on the matter but I can’t help but see a lot of sense in it. Read on;

 

 

This has been something that has been brewing in my system for quite a while. I am an international student studying in the UK and at times I look at the way that we are treated and I just can’t help but shake my head in disbelief that this is how people get treated because the only crime they committed is that they want better for themselves and decided to pack up their things and come to a another country to study.

First of all, they make sure to charge you double the fees for the same type of education that your home colleagues are receiving. I have been studying in the UK for 4 years now and till today I still cannot understand why I have to pay double for the same product that others are receiving for half the price. Take for instance, what happened to the international students at the London Metropolitan University, they were told that if they do not find another school in 60 days, then they would face deportation. Their crime; having the misfortune of attending London Metropolitan University.

I recall seeing that and feeling so bad for those students because it particularly affected the continuing students. So a question I want to ask is that someone in his third year who has already started making plans to graduate with friends is going to have his world just shattered or what of the cost of moving from one city to another or what if the fees in the other schools are higher and some cannot afford, then what happens to them? Granted, I understand that some people in some capacity might have abused the system, but that doesn’t mean that all international students should be turned into some form of modern day ‘Jesus’ to pay for all the sins of the other ones who abused the system.

The funny thing is that international students add so much value to their universities, it cannot even be stressed. I have always said that take away the Nigerians and Chinese and see how the UK universities will survive even with the so-called university fee increment. I would imagine that a country that is very much aware of a huge demand for its higher education would ensure to put incentives to make sure that this demand is kept alive and they try to at least utilize this human capital that they have trained for their benefit. Again, I was just thinking out loud…” – by Ojie KING

 

So there you have it; the bullies doing their job quite well. I can’t entirely blame them this time though, the university should have taken better measures to ensure that the students were all in the right. However, the bullying comes to mind when the punishment was put into place. I mean they could have warned them severely (I don’t know that they hadn’t already) rather than take such drastic actions. What were they thinking really? That it was the right move? That things weren’t already bad enough with the fee increase for both national and international students? If they had thought and acted properly it’d be a whole different situation I believe.

Although I say that I do know for a fact that internationals do use the guise of education to stay in the country remaining here indefinitely. Worst of all, some never even bother going to the institution they applied for in the first place. Add that to the hundreds of illegal immigrants who come into the country yearly and sadly then multiply that by the rising need (although misguided) to decrease the number of immigrants in the country and you have the result you see above.

All that’s left to ask now is was it a bad or good decision. In myhonestopinion; NOPE! Daftest thing I’ve seen the United Kingdom Border Agency (UKBA) do. What was the point? As mentioned above, internationals add so much value to education here. Why would you go after them? It really was a poor decision on their part. It doesn’t help that the western universities are losing global footholds to the eastern universities. It’s been happening but this will only reduce a good revenue stream for the UK and we all know how desperately they need it. How so very desperately.

Well, that’s my £4.50 on the matter. Not much else to say dear readers. It’s a darker than usual day for the English (as if the rains weren’t enough already)

 

Cheerio!

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